Well, people. I always promised myself that I was going to try to remain as truthful as possible with you on this blog. I felt that the sole purpose of this blog was to let you, my friends and family who live far away, in on our lives all the way over here in California so that we could still feel close to you even over the distance, no matter how pretty or ugly it may get. Soooooo here it goes...
My kid's a brat.
I take sole responsibility for this. I really do. For those of you who know me, you know that I've never been the most strong-willed person on the planet. I just like to make people happy, including my son. Well, it's starting to bite me in the butt. After wondering for several weeks when exactly my son's soul was possessed by the devil, today finally made me realize that something pretty drastic needs to happen. Right before lunch, Aaron was starting to display his typical behavior when he's angry, tired, frustrated, etc. He lashes out. Biting, throwing things, pulling hair, throwing himself on the ground. First, he pulled a little girl's pigtails at the playground. Then, we met Daddy at the BX for lunch and ended up eating with some friends who were already there. Apparently this was not where he wanted to be, so he showed us by not sitting in his highchair, tossing anything within his reach (including my lunch - good catch, Landon's Daddy), and screaming his head off. Needless to say, after we left, it was straight to his bed for naps - do not pass go, do not collect $200.
Any ideas? I still refuse to all-out spank. Sometimes he just makes me so mad that I whop him on his diapered butt, but therein lies the dilemma. The only reason I smack him is because I'm frustrated. Not to teach him a lesson. Time-outs are at least a small temporary fix now because he will actually stay sitting in one spot and we can tell he doesn't like to do that. But as far as the destructive behavior and the not-wanting-to-sit-still-for-five-minutes-so-Mommy-and-Daddy-can-enjoy-one-meal-in-peace stuff? That's my thorn for the long-term. We haven't been to Mass since Easter because of this very problem. And that makes me very sad.
So, any good books? Any experts? Any advice would be helpful because I really do like going out in public with him. He's pretty cute!
My kid's a brat.
I take sole responsibility for this. I really do. For those of you who know me, you know that I've never been the most strong-willed person on the planet. I just like to make people happy, including my son. Well, it's starting to bite me in the butt. After wondering for several weeks when exactly my son's soul was possessed by the devil, today finally made me realize that something pretty drastic needs to happen. Right before lunch, Aaron was starting to display his typical behavior when he's angry, tired, frustrated, etc. He lashes out. Biting, throwing things, pulling hair, throwing himself on the ground. First, he pulled a little girl's pigtails at the playground. Then, we met Daddy at the BX for lunch and ended up eating with some friends who were already there. Apparently this was not where he wanted to be, so he showed us by not sitting in his highchair, tossing anything within his reach (including my lunch - good catch, Landon's Daddy), and screaming his head off. Needless to say, after we left, it was straight to his bed for naps - do not pass go, do not collect $200.
Any ideas? I still refuse to all-out spank. Sometimes he just makes me so mad that I whop him on his diapered butt, but therein lies the dilemma. The only reason I smack him is because I'm frustrated. Not to teach him a lesson. Time-outs are at least a small temporary fix now because he will actually stay sitting in one spot and we can tell he doesn't like to do that. But as far as the destructive behavior and the not-wanting-to-sit-still-for-five-minutes-so-Mommy-and-Daddy-can-enjoy-one-meal-in-peace stuff? That's my thorn for the long-term. We haven't been to Mass since Easter because of this very problem. And that makes me very sad.
So, any good books? Any experts? Any advice would be helpful because I really do like going out in public with him. He's pretty cute!
7 comments:
OK, I have been reading your blog for a while and a lot of Aaron's behaviors seem like Rece. And it probably wouldn't matter if you are a pushover. I am not and Rece is still like this. Strong willed children will turn into goal oriented adults! Remember that. But as for books, I am reading 1-2-3 Magic and Raising your Spirited Child. They are both great books and I would recommend them. Also if you go onto www.ivillage.com and go to the message boards for spirited kids there are some great moms going through the same kids. Raising your Spirited Child gives you exactly what a "Spirited" child is and if Aaron fits that description then definitely read it.
Tonia, thank you so much! I really was hoping that someone else would see what I saw; that Aaron was strong willed and this is actually a personality trait I should be encouraging, not just a discipline problem that I need to quash. I will definitely check out the reading that you talked about. Hopefully it will show me how I can channel this energy towards good rather than evil.
Hi Girlie,
I'm not a parent but the best resource I can give you is SupperNanny. http://www.supernanny.us.com/Advice/-/Parenting-Skills.aspx
And I'm kind of laughing at the spanking on the diaper - that's like someone smacking you with a pillow on your butt. LOL
~AAM
Stacie,
He's not a brat. He's 2!!
I can't give you too much advice on the discipline front since I am not anti spanking. I did spank my kids. Sometimes, sitting down with them and discussing their inappropriate behavior rationally over a cup of apple juice just doesn't do it. :-)
Hang in there and don't give up.
I read and did Baby Wise with my kids and I am a huge fan of their suggestions. There are at least 3 books (Babywise) that I'm aware of. I think Babywise 2 or 3 is the right age for him.
Good luck!
Try diversion. Every time he starts to cause trouble with any activity/item, give him a different activity/item. Divert his attentions away from the original source of trouble. Lilly's school uses this technique for kid control. I am a firm believer in the spanking. Pain is a good educator and is not soon forgotten. You can always use the spanking/time-out combo. Lilly hates both, so they work well together. We also make her apologize for the indiscretion before time-out can be over.
PS He is almost 2 and will be a pain regardless of your skills, but he is capable of learning good behavior.
Our pastor just did a sermon on this, go to www.stbch.org then click "online sermons" on the right hand side. It's the one from mother's day.
Happy mothering! Wow. Moms amaze me.
Something I always have to remind myself is to set up Braden for success rather than failure. Which pretty much means 'lower my expectations'. Meaning... if he is in a phase where he can't sit still at the table, we don't go out to eat (because it is a phase). If he can't leave the plant alone, I move the plant. Sometimes they cannot control their little bodies as well as we wish they could. Remove the temptation.
That being said... don't underestimate the need for sleep and naps. 100% of the time their behavior will take a nose dive when they are tiered... you really will not be able to expect anything out them... so sometimes that means canceling that spur of the moment lunch with dad or whatnot.
Timeouts never worked with Braden. I couldn’t get him to sit, and then that became a bigger fight than whatever the timeout was for. I did spank for a while, about 6 months. I ‘popped’ him on the leg if he was openly defying me. AND I did it wherever we were... like the post office! That redirected him a bit and knew that I meant business.
I also read 1-2-3 Magic and agree with their technique – I would recommend that too.... Good Luck!
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